I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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