does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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