i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
