I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize