I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
