this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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