I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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