it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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