yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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