you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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