8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
