I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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