i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
