I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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