I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you never un-have a 4some
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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