Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
