the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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