Buhtt sex?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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