Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
