I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
