Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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