That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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