sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
