do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
