that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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