i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
