Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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