batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
