i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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