Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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