at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My vagina is officially offended.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize