Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's official drugs can't kill me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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