Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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