You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
