Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you win again, gameday.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
