she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's always time for handjobs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
