We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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