my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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