my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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