I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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