I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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