dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I touched a dick in church today
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
