ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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