there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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