I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
