this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
vagina is talking i cant
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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