My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
