Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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