Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
