Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
