there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
