Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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