What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
