Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I touched a dick in church today
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
