is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
