it's like iHOP with fire
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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