I am in a vortex of obligation.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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