That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
