If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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