Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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