On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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